Do you remember the mean girl in your high school?
The mean girl in high school wanted to make sure no one reached their full potential – not even her friends. Because she was so bent on keeping others from soaring, she limited herself.
Whether the mean girl in high school was your enemy or your friend, or even if the mean girl was you, she was never a good influence for anyone.
Today I’d like to talk to you about three types of homes that are mean girls to you, and the things they tell you. In order to illustrate this, I will share with you the personalities of three super mean girls in my high school:
Mary, Lourdes, and Irene. They were all friends, of course, and they thrived making other girls feel awful about themselves.
Mary liked to tell nasty things to girls to their face, then watch their self-esteem crumble. She was especially mean to girls who were chubby or overweight.
Lulu liked to make other girls feel like they were not good enough to be in her exclusive circle.
Irene actually pretended to be interested in girls outside her circle, just to gather information she could use later on for gossip and backstabbing.
These three mean girls represent three homes that could be playing the role of the mean girl in your present life, and preventing you from thriving.
Is Your Home a Mean Girl?
If you have unconsciously arranged your home to play the role of the mean girl in your life in the present, your home is keeping you from reaching your potential, instead of helping you be the best you that you can be!
To figure out if your home is being mean to you, watch the video below or keep reading:
Mean Girl / Mean Home Type 1
Mary was one of the most beautiful girls in my high school and she had a very sweet demeanor. Teachers and parents loved her. Mary’s talent was in discovering what a girl was afraid of or what she was embarrassed about. This might be something about her looks, or something about her family or her social status or income. Mary would catch this, and mention it to their face. Sometimes she would also gather information through gossip and then confront the person with it. She liked to start her attacks with “Is it true?”
Is it true that your cousin is doing drugs? Is it true that you flunked the history test? Is it true that your grandfather used to sell candy on the streets?
Mary would also just volunteer uncalled for descriptions of girls she interacted with: You’ve gained weight. You have a lot of acne. You are going to stay short.
As most bullies, Mary knew that words could be so much more hurtful if they contained at least some truth.
If your home is mean to you, the way Mary was to other teenage girls, every time you come home, your home tells you: you are a mess, you are a slob, you can’t get anything done, your home is out of control, your life is out of control, the people you love will leave you, or you will never be loved. The problem is that you believe that at least some of the mean things your home is telling you are true. Isn’t the mess you see as you open the door evidence that you are a slob? Isn’t the mountain of papers on top of your desk evidence that you can’t get things done?
If your home is doing this to you?
Mean Girl / Mean Home Type 2
Lulu herself was not especially attractive or charismatic. She attached herself like a leech to pretty, “popular” girls, and then acted like she belonged with them. It was obvious to any person looking at her group of friends, that Lulu didn’t quite belong. Lulu’s strategy to feel like she was in, was to point out the shortcoming of other girls and with great alacrity, make them feel like outsiders. She pretended to be very protective of other mean girls. When someone tried to join the circle, she would physically exclude them, by having all her friends turn their back on them while saying something mean but funny, that would make them all laugh.
If your home is mean to you the way Lulu was, every time you come home you feel like you have not arrived you are not there. You look at your TV and wish you had a larger, more expensive TV, you look at your kitchen and you wish you could remodel it to look like those kitchens in magazines, you walk into your bedroom and you dream of getting a nice headboard. You are never satisfied with what you have, always dreaming of what could be. You go and make yourself a vision board and paste the picture of a mansion there. If you had a mansion, you would feel like you belong with the people who have made it. You feel like this because you have not put enough love, care and beauty into your home. You feel like this because you have concluded that your home is not good enough to be worth the effort and since your home is a reflection of yourself, you conclude you must not be worth the effort. Sad.
If you suffer from home envy and are always dissatisfied with what you have, a Feng Shui consult or service can help you figure out what is really important to you, and where you should put your efforts to be happier.
Mean Girl / Mean Home Type 3
Irene was a pretty girl and her mom had raised her to believe that being beautiful was the most important thing in life. She truly believed that she was better because she was pretty. At the same time, she felt insecure in other areas of life, and she compensated by occasionally getting close to girls outside her circle who she perceived to be better than her in some way – this might be that the girl got better grades, or her parents had more money than hers – and pretending to be their friend. These girls would feel so honored to be noticed by Irene, that they would tell Irene everything she wanted to know about themselves and their friends. As soon as Irene gathered the intel she needed she would share it with her friends with the purpose of making fun of the other girls. They would wait until the girl in question was walking by, whisper something to each other, then laugh. When the girl turned to look at Irene, in disbelief, Irene would smile, like she was her best friend.
If your home is mean to you the way Irene was mean to other girls, your home may be fairly organized, and even beautiful, but your home has hidden messages for you that sabotage your best efforts. In your choices of colors, shapes and materials, and in your choices of artwork, you have painted for yourself an unrealistic picture of your life. For example, you may say that you want to get along better with your spouse, but you have images, in the spot in the home designated for relationships, that state that you want to be single or that you’d be OK with a love triangle. You say you want to make more money, but you have placed images in your home that symbolize money going away. This disconnection from reality leads you to make bad choices in life.
If you suspect that you may be self-sabotaging unconsciously and that things you have done in your home are “helping” you do this, you have two options. Go see your options here.