The perfect Feng Shui for your Master Bedroom and Relationships Corner in your home won’t help you if you keep living love in the past.
To illustrate what I mean, let me tell you a story about a woman I used to know. Sandy (not her real name) had been married 7 years when I met her, and blamed her marriage troubles to the fact that she had not been able to conceive.
She and her husband were not the most compatible couple I had met. They did share some of the most important values. However, they had not built into their relationship activities and interests that would help them have a good time together. Most of their communication was limited to logistics regarding the business they both owned.
Their relationship was challenged, but not impossible to fix — except for one small fact.
Sandy kept, well hidden in her closet, a small box full of love letters and poems, given to her by a previous flame.
Whenever she and her husband had an argument, or a disagreement, she would not confront their problems. Instead, she would wait for him to leave, then dig the box out of the closet. She would then spend several hours re-reading the letters and poems that her previous lover had written her. She would imagine what her life might have been like if she married him, instead of her husband.
By the time her husband came back, she no longer felt angry, only heartbroken (and a little guilty). The husband thought she was heartbroken about their relationship, so usually he would be the one to try to make up.
Past Relationships Hurt Present Relationships
Sandy is not the only woman I have seen do this. I had a friend in high school who married her husband only after the “love of her life” married someone else and had a child. She would let everyone who listened know that, if her former love would ever divorce, she would divorce the very next day. Another married friend, Peggy, kept close tabs on her first boyfriend, by maintaining a friendship with his sister. She relished every shared confidence that revealed any trouble in his marriage.
A marriage or love partnership has ZERO CHANCE of success unless both parties give up every previous romantic affiliation and commit to living love IN THE PRESENT.
I met the ladies I mentioned above long before I discovered Feng Shui. I could tell that their choices to keep previous attachments were hurting their marriages, but I didn’t know how badly.
Sandy ended up cheating on her husband with a married man, got pregnant, then got an abortion (that she now swears was a natural miscarriage) when the man decided to stay with his wife, instead of divorcing her to marry Sandy. When her own divorce was final, she sought her former lover and resumed a relationship with him. It didn’t take her a month to remember the very good reasons that relationship ended in the first place.
My high school friend divorced as soon as her youngest child turned 18. My other married friend, also ended up divorced.
Many years later, all 3 of them are still single. Only one of them has remained my friend.
Both Sandy and Peggy kept close tabs on their ex-husbands and their new relationships, constantly checking what they were like to the new wife, compared to how they used to behave towards them.
How to Let Go of Past Relationships
None of the marriages of these 3 women I have told you about, ever stood a chance of success. They would have, if a Feng Shui Consultant had told these women that to be happy in love, they needed to let go of the past.
Any gifts, letters, cards, or mementos of a previous relationship sabotage your attempts to be happy in love, in the present.
Let go of:
- Plush animals given to you by a former lover.
- Garments you received as a gift from a previous partner.
- Any items or pieces of furniture that an ex-husband brought into the marriage and then left behind.
- Any items or pieces of furniture you got after bitterly fighting with your ex for them, it the only reason you wanted that item was so he/she would not have them.
- Objects in your home that especially remind you of that person.
Living Love in the Present
A love partner will change in ways you would not want them to change, and do not change in ways you would like them to change. So do you.
In love, acceptance should be greater than expectations. Constantly comparing a love interest to previous relationships is extremely unfair. You are asking them to compete with memories or impressions in your mind, instead of realities.
This doesn’t mean that you do not have the right to demand changes that would improve the relationship. You can ask of a partner that he or she change their behavior. What you should never do is try to change them.
When people change, sometimes their partner needs to adapt and change too. As long as changes are positive, and originated by the desire within the person, change is good. The only way to adapt to change is to live in the present, accepting what is and keeping a constant dialogue with reality.
Whenever you try to hold on to the past, you live your chances for happiness in the past.
How About Your Love Life?
Take a good look at your own love life. Are you keeping any attachments to previous relationships? What objects are you keeping that remind you of past lovers? Why do you keep them?
Answer these questions honestly, then dare to live love in the present.