Do you find yourself blaming others for what is not right in your life, or do you know someone who constantly blames others, or their circumstances, for anything that happens that they don’t like?
Sometimes blaming is a natural reaction after we feel that we have been offended or hurt in any way. However, once the initial reaction starts fading, it serves us to find better ways to deal with our pain.
For as long as we continue to blame others or our circumstances for the current condition of our life, we are affirming to the Universe that change is not in our hands. For this reason, blaming can seriously affect our ability to manifest, or create realities in our lives.
This does not mean that we should not recognize or that we should forget the wrong actions of another, what it means is that we realize that whoever hurt us in the past or continues to try and suppress our current efforts, does not have the power to make us well.
I have long had an interest on issues around rage, resentment, revenge, forgiveness and recovery from trauma.
As a child, my circumstances sometimes felt so desperate that I would pray to God to take my father away, only to be assaulted by instant fears that my desire to be free of abuse could cause my father to die, and then it would be my fault.
At the time, it seemed impossible for me to imagine a life for myself where I would be well treated without at the same time becoming an “energetic murderer.”
As all children, I wanted to express the love for my father, but the unrelenting abuse made it impossible for me to do so. However, I always had a strong feeling that I could not blame him for the circumstances of my life, I always knew that what would become of me was ultimately up to me. I would keep telling myself: grow up, get out.
Blaming is intricately tied with our need, desire, or reluctance to forgive. Blaming has secondary benefits, in that it gives us excuses to justify why we are not doing better in any area of our lives.